Parenting Skills

I will never forget the declaration that a friend made, many years ago, long before I discovered Caycedian Sophrology. She sad: “I have taken up many different jobs in my life, but I find that the most difficult one of them all is to be a mother”. At the time, I thought that she must be doing something wrong, but now I would fully agree with her.

Though there is a lot to be said on this subject, I will try to condense and reveal just a few central issues. Most people have no idea of what they are getting into when they have children and the ones who do, (without any judgements) don’t always do the right things.

To begin with, very few people choose to have babies for the right reasons. Here are some examples: “Because I wanted to stop working” “Because I wanted him to marry me” "Because I wanted to have someone who belongs to me” “Because I wanted more financial aid” “Because I like the feeling of carrying a baby it makes my husband pay more attention to me” etc…These are not valid reasons, a baby is not a trend, not something that we can change our mind about, when we have had enough or when it’s presence doesn’t bring on the desired affect. Bringing new life into this world must not be considered as an intermediary for personal gain or as a mood booster.

Even if children convey affection, admiration, dependency and a very special connection, that is not all they do. And although they become our children for the rest of our existence, and we should always love them no matter what. They are all unique living individuals and have to be recognised as such.

Our care and guidance is certainly required during their’ younger years, (before becoming autonomous) nevertheless if we wish to escort them well we also have to allow them to discover and develop themselves, while they are growing. It is essential, when ever possible to lead children into living their experiences and learning from them. It is the only way that shows them to gradually take responsibility for their choices and actions.

While there is not a secrete recipe, no way to be a perfect parent, there is however something fundamental that most people frequently overlook. I am referring to our movements, behaviour, attitude etc… Because our young ones (consciously or unconsciously) all happen to be constant meticulous observers. They will be much more influenced by our actions then by our statements. This is why we know the saying: “Do as I say and not as I do” to be a complete fiasco.