Every day and in every situation I make a conscious effort to use my knowledge, perceptions and generosity for the greater good of man kind.
This means, that I’m not a Caycedian Sophrologist, only during the time that I am working with my clients. I don’t finish my day’s work and move into a different mode of existing. I remain in what we call my Sophronic consciousness 24, 7/7.
I lead by example and if I don’t follow certain things that I teach people to do, then I don’t feel that I’m being true to myself nor to the others.
This is why; I can say that although I don’t consider myself to be perfect, I continue to thrive on my ongoing living discoveries and developments.
Some of the things that we implement in C.Sophrology, are:
* To move away from judgement.
* To move away from material gain and from appearances.
* To seek guidance from within.
* To use life’s phenomenology, in order to clear the clutter and find what is essential.
* To stick to reality at all cost.
I’m not saying that it’s always easy, but by actually using these rules it never fails to fulfil me in every way. It sets me free and allows my perpetual growth. It helps me identify and separate all the things that truly belong to me from all the ones that belong to someone else.
So where does the difficulty stand? Let’s take the clearance of judgement, for example. You may be saying to yourself that this is impossible to do, but let me tell you that nothing is impossible. And it is even more difficult to do so, when one is acute with their’ perceptions, as opposed to not really seeing what’s going on.
Moving away from material gain, allows me to move, speak, listen sense etc.… with the openness of my heart. I don’t communicate mainly through my brain; therefore don’t favour in any way any chosen category of humans. I don’t calculate my every action so as to make it profitable for myself, but find myself moving forth selflessly.
When an interaction doesn’t go smoothly, I don’t point my finger, but ask myself where my responsibility lies? And I don’t leave myself alone until I find out, regardless of how unfairly I seem to have been treated. I make it my personal challenge to be able to include the person who has hurt me in my prayers, before being able to understand things. And this is not always an easy task but a very rewarding one. The greatest benefit in this is that it allows me to rapidly elevate any emotional weight which, in any case doesn’t really belong to me.
How do I use life’s phenomenology? As soon as a situation seems confusing, I dismantle. I simply go beyond the most obvious; I seek a simple, yet fundamental sign that is usually hidden behind a stack of seemingly important data. And I can only get there by following the living movement of phenomena. Not many people understand me, when I say: “I see much more clearly with my eyes closed” But by doing so, I move away from the illusion, enabling me to gracefully use all my senses otherwise.
When I speak of reality, I imply to one that all humans have in common. It is reality that insures our sanity. So, what is real? What ever is constant is real:
* The freedom of our choice, which allows us to take an active part in how our existence will unfold.
* The fact that we are all moved forth by whatever taps into our affectivity.
* When we each recognise/tend to our foremost needs we feel good under our skins, automatically leading us into becoming better people. Consequently this enables us to love someone/thing with our entity (and to be conscious of what we are doing) hence gives rise to unconditional LOVE.
* And last but not least, the more we create and nurture everything that is positive, the more positivity we engender.
Another fine example of reality, are our endless capacities, which in my case, blossom to the surface every time I find myself in a new (first time) situation. And my strength is re-enforced by my noticing how I need only become aware of each one, as it unveils; in order to always be able to rely on it in the future. Because, once a capacity is touched and awakened, it remains (firm) at hand throughout our existence. And all the things mentioned above are amongst my greatest joys; what makes me feel that I’m alive and making the best use of the time that is given to me, for myself and my surrounding.
Monday, 2 August 2010
Saturday, 5 December 2009
Why is self knowledge crucial?
Most people don’t see the point in undertaking any kind of work that may direct them into self discovery. They don’t quite understand the use of it and even less the massive benefit that it can offer them. I overhear people complaining about any and every imaginable subject, all the time. And though I instinctively feel like pulling out my card and saying “I can guide you into finding answers to your entire problems and enable you to lead a most fulfilling existence” I know I cannot do so, unless they are interested. Such is the principal of the deal; we can only help people who are willing to help themselves.
If you take a moment to think of the following analogy, perhaps it will give you a clearer understanding of what I mean: If you have a bank account and a regular income, doesn’t it seem totally logical for you to know and keep record of how much money you have on this account, of the quantity of your debits and credits, before you can make any plans whatsoever? If you have any intentions to organise yourself, from deciding if you can have potatoes or caviar for dinner to buying a house or renting a bedsitting room, you need to know what you’ve got, what you need to develop and how you can get there. Well it’s the same thing for everything that concerns our movements and our personal/interpersonal relationships. We have to know who we are, where we are heading and how/if we can get there.
Some of the biggest mistakes that almost everybody makes are that they firmly believe:
1. That they are doing everything so well, why should they change? Everyone and everything else is to blame (except themselves).
2. No matter what they do, it is of no use; it will make no difference.
3. To seek help is only a sign of weakness.
Whereas nothing is further from the truth, in all the above statements. I confess that I once said these same things myself, until I found Caycedian Sophrology and became a qualified Sophrologist.
I will begin by saying, what many great Masters have already told us for countless years: Self awareness is at the very core of all our issues therefore; an inestimable investment. It is the first indispensable step that creates possibilities. If we are building a house, for example, where do we begin? If we care to make solid and healthy foundations all the other details become achievable. But, the good news is that mankind is not like a building, we have the advantage to restructure, throughout our existence. So it’s never too late!
In order to find the most unbelievable answers, the solution to every irresolvable problem, all we need to do is turn within. By taking up training sessions in Caycedian Sophrology we obviously use specific techniques that favour and accelerate this process.
We each hold the most astounding information in our depths; awaiting at every passing moment to be consulted. And what I find to be a crying shame is that most people refuse themselves this privilege out of sheer obstinacy, afraid to crease their’ EGO. What seems to profoundly hurt is to admit that there may exist a more accurate and truthful alternative to the one that is known and has been used for so many years. We actually undergo so much pain and doubt; just because: “familiarity brings comfort”.
However, if we would only take a moment to reconsider and ask ourselves the following questions: “How much of what we (already) know is strictly authentic”? How much of it really belongs to our individuality? And what percentage belongs to some outdated/misunderstood information that we have stored from our childhood observations? The reason that I say outdated and misunderstood, is because a child does not have the refined and developed means to appreciate pragmatism for what it really is.
Commonly we prefer to live in resentment/anger (to remain in a rut) rather than lose points (as some see it). As if our existence is valid by keeping a record of how many times we were right. Such attitudes merely guarantee the regression of our humanness. This is why we say; we were born to make mistakes and errors are only human providing that we learn from them. And it is such a wonderful illumination, such a feeling of freedom, when we find out how to use our slip-ups to our greatest advantage.
As humans we are the only living species who are conscious of our consciousness and there is nothing that saddens me more than when I detect how so many people carry such powerful potentials straight to their’ grave. For our endless capacities will and do remain dormant, if we do nothing to put them into play.
If you take a moment to think of the following analogy, perhaps it will give you a clearer understanding of what I mean: If you have a bank account and a regular income, doesn’t it seem totally logical for you to know and keep record of how much money you have on this account, of the quantity of your debits and credits, before you can make any plans whatsoever? If you have any intentions to organise yourself, from deciding if you can have potatoes or caviar for dinner to buying a house or renting a bedsitting room, you need to know what you’ve got, what you need to develop and how you can get there. Well it’s the same thing for everything that concerns our movements and our personal/interpersonal relationships. We have to know who we are, where we are heading and how/if we can get there.
Some of the biggest mistakes that almost everybody makes are that they firmly believe:
1. That they are doing everything so well, why should they change? Everyone and everything else is to blame (except themselves).
2. No matter what they do, it is of no use; it will make no difference.
3. To seek help is only a sign of weakness.
Whereas nothing is further from the truth, in all the above statements. I confess that I once said these same things myself, until I found Caycedian Sophrology and became a qualified Sophrologist.
I will begin by saying, what many great Masters have already told us for countless years: Self awareness is at the very core of all our issues therefore; an inestimable investment. It is the first indispensable step that creates possibilities. If we are building a house, for example, where do we begin? If we care to make solid and healthy foundations all the other details become achievable. But, the good news is that mankind is not like a building, we have the advantage to restructure, throughout our existence. So it’s never too late!
In order to find the most unbelievable answers, the solution to every irresolvable problem, all we need to do is turn within. By taking up training sessions in Caycedian Sophrology we obviously use specific techniques that favour and accelerate this process.
We each hold the most astounding information in our depths; awaiting at every passing moment to be consulted. And what I find to be a crying shame is that most people refuse themselves this privilege out of sheer obstinacy, afraid to crease their’ EGO. What seems to profoundly hurt is to admit that there may exist a more accurate and truthful alternative to the one that is known and has been used for so many years. We actually undergo so much pain and doubt; just because: “familiarity brings comfort”.
However, if we would only take a moment to reconsider and ask ourselves the following questions: “How much of what we (already) know is strictly authentic”? How much of it really belongs to our individuality? And what percentage belongs to some outdated/misunderstood information that we have stored from our childhood observations? The reason that I say outdated and misunderstood, is because a child does not have the refined and developed means to appreciate pragmatism for what it really is.
Commonly we prefer to live in resentment/anger (to remain in a rut) rather than lose points (as some see it). As if our existence is valid by keeping a record of how many times we were right. Such attitudes merely guarantee the regression of our humanness. This is why we say; we were born to make mistakes and errors are only human providing that we learn from them. And it is such a wonderful illumination, such a feeling of freedom, when we find out how to use our slip-ups to our greatest advantage.
As humans we are the only living species who are conscious of our consciousness and there is nothing that saddens me more than when I detect how so many people carry such powerful potentials straight to their’ grave. For our endless capacities will and do remain dormant, if we do nothing to put them into play.
Monday, 30 November 2009
Parenting Skills
I will never forget the declaration that a friend made, many years ago, long before I discovered Caycedian Sophrology. She sad: “I have taken up many different jobs in my life, but I find that the most difficult one of them all is to be a mother”. At the time, I thought that she must be doing something wrong, but now I would fully agree with her.
Though there is a lot to be said on this subject, I will try to condense and reveal just a few central issues. Most people have no idea of what they are getting into when they have children and the ones who do, (without any judgements) don’t always do the right things.
To begin with, very few people choose to have babies for the right reasons. Here are some examples: “Because I wanted to stop working” “Because I wanted him to marry me” "Because I wanted to have someone who belongs to me” “Because I wanted more financial aid” “Because I like the feeling of carrying a baby it makes my husband pay more attention to me” etc…These are not valid reasons, a baby is not a trend, not something that we can change our mind about, when we have had enough or when it’s presence doesn’t bring on the desired affect. Bringing new life into this world must not be considered as an intermediary for personal gain or as a mood booster.
Even if children convey affection, admiration, dependency and a very special connection, that is not all they do. And although they become our children for the rest of our existence, and we should always love them no matter what. They are all unique living individuals and have to be recognised as such.
Our care and guidance is certainly required during their’ younger years, (before becoming autonomous) nevertheless if we wish to escort them well we also have to allow them to discover and develop themselves, while they are growing. It is essential, when ever possible to lead children into living their experiences and learning from them. It is the only way that shows them to gradually take responsibility for their choices and actions.
While there is not a secrete recipe, no way to be a perfect parent, there is however something fundamental that most people frequently overlook. I am referring to our movements, behaviour, attitude etc… Because our young ones (consciously or unconsciously) all happen to be constant meticulous observers. They will be much more influenced by our actions then by our statements. This is why we know the saying: “Do as I say and not as I do” to be a complete fiasco.
Though there is a lot to be said on this subject, I will try to condense and reveal just a few central issues. Most people have no idea of what they are getting into when they have children and the ones who do, (without any judgements) don’t always do the right things.
To begin with, very few people choose to have babies for the right reasons. Here are some examples: “Because I wanted to stop working” “Because I wanted him to marry me” "Because I wanted to have someone who belongs to me” “Because I wanted more financial aid” “Because I like the feeling of carrying a baby it makes my husband pay more attention to me” etc…These are not valid reasons, a baby is not a trend, not something that we can change our mind about, when we have had enough or when it’s presence doesn’t bring on the desired affect. Bringing new life into this world must not be considered as an intermediary for personal gain or as a mood booster.
Even if children convey affection, admiration, dependency and a very special connection, that is not all they do. And although they become our children for the rest of our existence, and we should always love them no matter what. They are all unique living individuals and have to be recognised as such.
Our care and guidance is certainly required during their’ younger years, (before becoming autonomous) nevertheless if we wish to escort them well we also have to allow them to discover and develop themselves, while they are growing. It is essential, when ever possible to lead children into living their experiences and learning from them. It is the only way that shows them to gradually take responsibility for their choices and actions.
While there is not a secrete recipe, no way to be a perfect parent, there is however something fundamental that most people frequently overlook. I am referring to our movements, behaviour, attitude etc… Because our young ones (consciously or unconsciously) all happen to be constant meticulous observers. They will be much more influenced by our actions then by our statements. This is why we know the saying: “Do as I say and not as I do” to be a complete fiasco.
Friday, 27 November 2009
Romantic Relationships
In my practice, I often see couples coming for consultation or give training sessions to one of them. However something that I observe all the time is that each person has a list of complaints about their’ partner; declaring that if their liaison is not working out, it is the other person’s fault. They are so busy scrutinising the other that they let the thing that is the most essential completely pass them by. I am referring to the reactions we get from our actions, which never fail to manifest that however inappropriate someone’s behaviour; they still care. When affection is absent there will be total indifference. And when we can distinguish this very important factor we know that hope exists, hence can find a way to re-establish that loving feeling.
In Caycedian Sophrology, we discover that our every responsibility lies in our movements, but also in our none movements. Therefore the accountability will never belong to one sole person in the outcome of our every interaction. We learn to always take into account our own participation, which necessarily will influence the other person/s concerned.
This is why, even if I work with only one person, it enables them to approach their companions differently, which makes way and guarantees a new response. Because as humans we are all constantly touched, modified and even transformed by every presence, including our own.
In Caycedian Sophrology, we discover that our every responsibility lies in our movements, but also in our none movements. Therefore the accountability will never belong to one sole person in the outcome of our every interaction. We learn to always take into account our own participation, which necessarily will influence the other person/s concerned.
This is why, even if I work with only one person, it enables them to approach their companions differently, which makes way and guarantees a new response. Because as humans we are all constantly touched, modified and even transformed by every presence, including our own.
Our Pathos is a double movement
Everything that we do in Caycedian Sophrology is perpetually envisaged to bring us to terms with the things that we do (consciously or unconsciously) on a daily basis. Our aim is to constantly remain close to the reality at all cost.
One of the most crucial double movements is our suffering/joy, otherwise called our very PATHOS of life, without which we wouldn’t be human. Our pathos is felt/lived through our joys/pains through our laughter/tears, the most plain, but essentials that tell us that we are alive, hence makes up our VIVANCE (the life that flows & manifests in a living continuity).
By practicing Sophrology we bring our pathos into balance, so as not to feel that we are undergoing our existence in irrationality (aggressed). We learn to understand/consent to the constant presence of both emotions and to recognise when one gets out of proportion and begins to travel down the path of extremes. We know that the mere thought of wanting to eradicate our pains or tears, would mean that we are putting our joys and laughter into peril, therefore our life at stake. And this is valid for so many double movements that belong to the reality of life, but that we are frequently and mistakenly led into believing that we like the feeling of one but not the other. Only because we spend most of our time running away from the emotions that are (physically/mentally) painful therefore never develop the skills to cope successfully with them. Practically, it boil down to; if we seek to live only through a chosen group of feelings we are partially (not entirely) living. As I often say: “When the Soul is afraid of dying, it never learns to Live”.
One of the most crucial double movements is our suffering/joy, otherwise called our very PATHOS of life, without which we wouldn’t be human. Our pathos is felt/lived through our joys/pains through our laughter/tears, the most plain, but essentials that tell us that we are alive, hence makes up our VIVANCE (the life that flows & manifests in a living continuity).
By practicing Sophrology we bring our pathos into balance, so as not to feel that we are undergoing our existence in irrationality (aggressed). We learn to understand/consent to the constant presence of both emotions and to recognise when one gets out of proportion and begins to travel down the path of extremes. We know that the mere thought of wanting to eradicate our pains or tears, would mean that we are putting our joys and laughter into peril, therefore our life at stake. And this is valid for so many double movements that belong to the reality of life, but that we are frequently and mistakenly led into believing that we like the feeling of one but not the other. Only because we spend most of our time running away from the emotions that are (physically/mentally) painful therefore never develop the skills to cope successfully with them. Practically, it boil down to; if we seek to live only through a chosen group of feelings we are partially (not entirely) living. As I often say: “When the Soul is afraid of dying, it never learns to Live”.
Thursday, 26 November 2009
Our fear of death
The work that we under take, continually sheds light on countless chief issues and from many different angles, but below I will choose to tackle one, just to give an example, however a monumental one: Death!
It is not when we alienate ourselves from the things that we fear or dislike that we become better equipped in dealing most effectively with them. And it is not either when we try to control them that we make a better job out of a difficult/painful situation. It is through understanding, accepting and sometimes, even loving some things, making them our allies that permit us to explore, to get to know and really approach them. Just think for a moment, isn’t it with the things that you are most familiar, that you feel more comfortable about? By doing so we learn to make way to our authentic feelings, the ones that rise from within, not the ones that we think are more appropriate, because of our education/culture, or our understanding of it. We obstruct the development of our natural manifestation, when we try to act in ways that we think are expected of us. Therefore never get to know who we really are.
As we begin to recognize our finitude as a natural course of life; acknowledging it for what it really is; as an inevitable living reality, which we all have to face sooner or later, we become more resilient. This enables us to simultaneously approach such themes from another perspective, as we cease living in fear of them. For example by accepting our own death, we experience it more as continuity, another cycle, a change rather than a loss. Consequently, this reality automatically allows us to admit the death of our loved ones in a new way. As my dear late Master; Dr. Michel Guerry so correctly used to say: “It is only when man ceases to fear his death that he begins to LIVE”.
It is not when we alienate ourselves from the things that we fear or dislike that we become better equipped in dealing most effectively with them. And it is not either when we try to control them that we make a better job out of a difficult/painful situation. It is through understanding, accepting and sometimes, even loving some things, making them our allies that permit us to explore, to get to know and really approach them. Just think for a moment, isn’t it with the things that you are most familiar, that you feel more comfortable about? By doing so we learn to make way to our authentic feelings, the ones that rise from within, not the ones that we think are more appropriate, because of our education/culture, or our understanding of it. We obstruct the development of our natural manifestation, when we try to act in ways that we think are expected of us. Therefore never get to know who we really are.
As we begin to recognize our finitude as a natural course of life; acknowledging it for what it really is; as an inevitable living reality, which we all have to face sooner or later, we become more resilient. This enables us to simultaneously approach such themes from another perspective, as we cease living in fear of them. For example by accepting our own death, we experience it more as continuity, another cycle, a change rather than a loss. Consequently, this reality automatically allows us to admit the death of our loved ones in a new way. As my dear late Master; Dr. Michel Guerry so correctly used to say: “It is only when man ceases to fear his death that he begins to LIVE”.
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